


Got Nuffin (Darkness and Shadows / Bitterness and Patterns)

by Kriz



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Future Fic, I should stop putting tags here now, I think there is some cursing, M/M, Post-Canon, Stiles gets kidnapped, That's it, and Derek, and Lydia is a goddess, and being sad alone is pathetic?, and it makes him think about his life, and there are some Stiles / Scott feels that came kinda outa left field?, but basically it's just Stiles thinking, but that doesn't need mentioning, does it?, everyone is 18, except that I am sad, except those who are older, i guess, it's not very explicit, just a few months, like not that much in the future, mostly just talking about someone bleeding, no seriously I have no idea where that came from, so if you mind that kind of thing, that's the story, you shouldn't read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3527057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kriz/pseuds/Kriz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's September and Stiles is having a horrible day - so obviously that's when he gets himself abducted.<br/>And he's pretty sure that's all Derek's fault - somehow.<br/>Stiles doesn't really remember.<br/>There may be a concussion.<br/>And too much blood.<br/>But thank god for broody werewolves giving a boy something to think about...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Nuffin (Darkness and Shadows / Bitterness and Patterns)

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, I wrote this? And decided to post it? And it got terrible blown out of proportion? Without actually being what I had envisioned?  
> HAha, yeah, that happened *sweats*
> 
> Also the title is from that one Spoon song "Got Nuffin" I know - which some of you may know from that time Chuck and Captain Awesome ran up some stairs to kill Superman because Rizzoli had told them to? Because yeah, THAT happened!  
> Anyways, the lyrics really remind me of canon-Sterek
> 
> Anyways, enjoy (or not, that's fine too!)  
> Everything is un-betaed...
> 
> (Also I am super emotional about the recent S5 developments, I guess? I was fine, but then Teen Wolf PR decided they had to put in their five cents and god! That last line was so distasteful guys, I can't!  
> Just like the 11 reasons why we'll miss Derek - they said he wasn't completely gone!)

It started before his senior year.

This thing with Derek.

His Derek thing. Derek’s thing. The Derek torture.

Yeah, he was _pretty_ sure his junior year hadn’t yet ended.

Right? Right! No, yeah, he was sure. It had been before then! Because he turned 18 in April and Malia broke up with him about two weeks later, so Derek became weird in May – well, even weirder then usual.

Because he wasn't not _literally_ weird weird, just rather _un-Derek-y -_ and thereby weird by his standards. After all, Stiles had _just_ gotten used to Derek being normal-Derek-y, so him suddenly being non-Derek-y freaked him out.

Major.

Obviously. Considering their history and all!

Man, his head throbbed. He couldn’t really concentrate. The hand touching his neck was wet. Dang, was he bleeding? He was, wasn’t he?

When had he started to bleed? And why? God, the headache! Stiles knew he needed to concentrate, but he just couldn’t!

Focus, Stiles!

Did he have a concussion? Was that what was going on? And what had happened anyways? Maybe he should open his eyes, look aroun- oh, nope, not a good idea, the pain! So much pain!

So yeah, definitely had a concussion. No more moving then, nope, just holding still! Just staying here! Sitting With his eyes closed. Yeah.

Man, a concussion. Again. And he had gotten abducted. Also again. Darn his luck!

Still, all he was thinking about was Derek? Why was he thinking about Derek? He should find a way to get out of here! Yeah, he should focus! Think about escaping! Maybe look around again?

Concentration!

Derek.

Why was he thinking about Derek anyways? What was so important about it? Had Derek – had he gotten abducted by _Derek_?

Nah, that didn’t sound like Derek. Totally un-Derek-y to willingly spent time with him.

Un-Derek-y? Non-Derek-y? Just like … hm, maybe there _was_ a connection and that’s why he had been thinking about it? Yeah, that must be it! Derek being weird was connected to him getting abducted! Ha, see, he still had it!

Moving on, then.

So Derek was weird. Weirder. Non-Derek-y. Un-Derek-y. Affectionate – wait a second, Derek was affectionate? Since when was Derek affectionate? When had _that_ started? Beginning of senior year? No, before that, way before that, like we’re talking – oh, that was the connection:

Someone had clubbed Stiles and abducted him, giving him a concussion. Waiting for his rescue he decided to distract himself by thinking about Derek because – okay, he couldn’t remember that part _just_ _yet_ , but well, he would remember! He always did. After all was the one who figured stuff out!

Figured it out.

Figured him out.

Stiles.

And he remembered everything. Even if he wasn’t there! Haha, he was the Ted Mosby of Beacon Hills.

Wait, that wasn’t really a compliment, was it? Maybe he could be Barney?

Robin?

Or Marshall? Everybody liked Marshall, right? Plus Marshall could sing! Just like Stiles! And Derek. God, Derek had a great voice!

Derek had great everything.

Wait, what? Where had that come from?

Moving on! Moving ON!

So, Derek. Being weird. Affectionate. May. Yeah, rung bells – god, bells, ah, his head, the pain!

Moving ON!

Malia and Stiles had just taken another break, because one of them was emotionally distant (Hah!) and the other had no tact –or maybe that was both of them? And was it thereby actually an issue? Wasn't it?

Well, but because of the break-up Stiles had spent a lot of time at the loft (seeing as Scott had a girlfriend and no time for him) and at the loft there were at least people – even if those where Isaac and Peter and Braeden and Derek and sometimes even Cora, which really resulted in a terrible mix of sarcasm and grumpiness and everyone always had to one up the everyone - but who was he to judge? It's not like that description didn't fit him either!

Like no wonder neither Lydia nor Scott wanted to actually hang out with him these days, when he spent so much time with people who fostered his bad qualities!

So, yeah, he was spending a lot of time at the loft.

Doing research.

Looking for the Desert Wolf. Malia’s mother. His ex-girlfriend’s mother.

What did he do _that_ for? She had broken up with him!

Did he want her _back_? No, didn’t feel like it.

But was he really that emotionally uninvolved? Or was the opposite true?

He cared about her, he did, really, but – okay, his head was just getting worse now, maybe he should avoid this topic? Yeah, good idea!

Anyways, he helped with the research and he had a break through and then Derek had as well and it was just them at the loft and well, Derek hugged him? Because he was happy?

Right, right, they had been happy and laughing, - except Stiles had to suddenly realized that holy crap this was _Derek_ _Hale_ hugging him!

So naturally he started to freak out.

Which in return freaked him out even more, obviously, because as a werewolf Derek would know he was freaking out and it would break the moment because he would wonder why Stiles was freaking out!

Except Stiles couldn’t allow himself to break the moment because this was Derek! Being happy. Voluntarily touching another person!

Voluntarily touching _him_!

And now he was never going to hug anyone again. Ever. Specifically not Stiles! Because he _had_ to freak out!

Only Derek, Derek had just turned a little so his mouth got close to the human's – well, his - ear. “Calm down, Stiles.” He had said – well, whispered really as his lips had been brushing his ear, making inside voices sound like shouting.

Fun fact: Being told by a hot, emotionally stunted person to stay calm while said person was freely hugging you because they were happy? Yeah, it would not result in anyone staying calm! Ever.

So he kept panicking. With Derek still hugged him.

And after Derek stopped hugging him. Especially after Derek stopped hugging him!

As he stood stupefied in the loft afterwards.

When he had already left the loft!

Every moment he caught himself missing Derek’s warmth.

Oh my, just thinking about it caused panic to rise inside him – panic and heat. All the heat! His face started heating and there was a blush spreading and pulsing – so much blood pulsing!

Blood pulsing everywhere!

Well, not literally everywhere! Guys! Someone has one hell of a dirty mind over there! Yeah, you! He heard you, okay? And not that. Not … there! He was 18, not 12!

No, he meant in his, like, ears or stuff! - Kind of like right now, btw. He could hear the blood circulating again in his ears and head and legs and hold up, was that blood? Jep, that was blood! He was bleeding some more. Great.

But his favourite jeans! Now Ripped! And bloodied!

Back to thinking about Derek then! Just to get his mind off of things – because the topic of bleeding through his last pair of good jeans was far to depressing!

Did you know how hard it was for him to find a pair like that? Yeah, he had put on some muscle, had gained some weight (his shoulder where wider than Derek's now, btw. Ha, take that Mr. former alpha!), but still, his legs had stayed kinda skinny and scrawny – making them perfect for those hipster skinny pants he – technically – really liked, except has anyone ever tried running in them? Because that was not really possible!

Better to change the subject, then, right?

Where was he? Derek had hugged him and he had freaked out and then Derek had started chuckling (lowly. In his throat!) and wouldn’t let go because … something about pack and having to be comfortable with each other and their bodies and his smell?

Stiles couldn’t fully remember it, only how there had been more whispering and an eye-twinkle.

God, the eye-twinkle! Like everything Hale (appearance wise) it had, of course, been superior. All Stiles could do was watch it in fascination.

Watch Derek in fascination.

Derek.

Boy, he really did have a concussion. And maybe he had lost blood? Like a lot!

Also he was tired. Really tired. Maybe he should sleep? Yeah, take a nap! A nap! God, he loved naps! Naps where grea – oh, nope, you were not supposed to do that when you’ve gotten abducted and may be having a concussion, right? Right.

So _that’s_ why he had been thinking about Derek! Because he knew “The mystery of Derek Hale” would keep him awake long enough for someone to find him!

Back to his story then, Honeybunches!

Hihi! Stiles heard himself giggle. It sounded a tad bit manic if he was being honest, which … probably wasn't that big a surprise after all!

Also it lead to him just laughing harder … which hurt like hell! A hell he couldn't exactly pin point anymore. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not, everything seemed to be rather far away now.

He decided to go back to the internal monolog with his non-existent audience.

After the “hugging-incident” as some people called it – well, okay, just him, because he hadn’t talked to anyone about it and obviously neither had Derek (probably because he wasn't aware there had been an incident), which meant it was only him calling it that, but not that often, because usually he avoided thinking about that and … he kinda forgot were he was going with this.

Seemed to be the running theme today!

Anyhow, after the incident Derek changed. Not by a lot, meaning not enough for anyone else except Stiles to notice anything (except maybe Peter, but then again Peter seemed to know everything about everyone. Always.), but well, _Stiles_ felt like Derek had changed.

Or maybe he just hadn’t noticed it before? Maybe Derek had been like that for a while and he just never picked up on anything?

Was he actually that unobservant?

Oh, this was weird! This was embarrassing! Why was he thinking about this? He should be thinking about something else! Jep, he will be choosing a new topic right n – okay, nope, searching his brain for something else to focus was just making him want to throw up more.

Guess he would have to get to the bottom of this!

Yeah. Great.

See, after the incident Derek started touching Stiles … more. Like not inappropriate touching, no invasion of privacy, just occasional brushing of hands and grabbing things behind Stiles or next to him and sometimes leaning into his body or twisting around him – instead of avoiding body contact at all cost as it was Derek’s usual style.

But god, that was torture! Madening and excrucinating. Because he wasn’t really touching him – he just hinted at it!

Like that one time when Stiles had been leaning against the counter all relaxed and Derek grabbed a cup from the board behind him, leaning on Stiles' shoulder to balance himself.

Or any time Derek would magically end up sitting next to Stiles. Even though Stiles had sat down first. And Derek had not sat down next to him (but still managed to end up so their thighs were flush).

Or his hand ended up brushing his while they both grabbed for a cookie.

See where he was getting at? It was horrible! Really bad!

Like that one time when it made him stop mid-rant. Mid-rant!

Not that anyone noticed. Except Derek. Because if the almost touching wasn’t enough, then there was also the fact that now Derek was listening to him.

Derek.

Listening to him!

Babble. Ramble. Rant!

Stiles had the worst case of verbal diarrhoea known to mankind and Derek was listening to it? It was disturbing. Utterly.

Though not as disturbing as Derek looking at him. Because on top of all that … that touching and listening and generally behaving like a normal human being around Stiles (albeit a rather sarcastic and gloomy on with supernaturally good looks – because Stiles was totally okay with admitting that out loud, okay?) he had also taken up the hobby of watching Stiles.

Staring at him. _Stiles_ . As if he really saw _him._ And found him interesting.

Or at least, you know, didn’t mind looking some more.

That was _really_ disturbing!

Scott had given him a super weird look once he confessed all that.

Kira had giggled.

Isaac smirked.

Though Lydia, Lydia actually raised one of her perfect eyebrows at him! – Well, okay, maybe that had been due to something _Jordan_ had texted her. Who knew?

Stiles did however see for sure a twitch in both Cora’s and Malia’s cheeks – granted only for like a second as all Hale’s had a freaky ability to control their facial expression, but he was _still_ counting that as a win!

Because something was definitely going on!

And weird thing kept happening and everyone kept on not noticing the weirdness going on and it really started to freak Stiles out.

And make him affected. So, so affected! Because Derek was an intense guy, okay? And he kept on watching Stiles and listening to him and generally just noticing him and he smelled great and it was Derek which also made it kinda awkward as well and Stiles was sure he would end up dying of a heart attack before he even reached 20 – without having to do something crazy like running!

After all, this had been going on for week – hell, they had September, school had started up again, months!

So Stiles was exhausted. He couldn’t think straight, like even when he didn’t have a concussion or was barely conscious due to blood loss, but generally when he was in school or while he should be sleeping or studying.

After all the only thing he could think about was Derek and what was going on and of something was wrong and why, for god’s sake, why Stiles of all people?

Stiles had to drop all cholesterol-rich food. Stiles! Because he was a guy. And a Stilinski-man.

Also didn’t feel like being one of those tragic stories he used on his dad.

They had lost too many people already.

He giggled. Oh, the way his blood was flowing having a stroke was getting more and more unlikely! Not enough blood left to get clocked up.

So still a tragic story after all!

But what did all of this have to do with his abduction? Aside from giving him something other to think about than his impending death and how his father would be oh so mad at him! Was it because of the fight?

Oh yeah, the fight! Completly forgot about that!

Yesterday.

Today.

How much time had passed since he'd stormed away? There had been a van. Some shoving around. He may have been unconscious for some time.

So the fight.

Today.

Yesterday.

Derek.

Because it had all boiled over today – one could say he had blown the lid off and god, the fact he was able to laugh right now! Stiles truly was in deep shit!

See that day had been horrible - like every September 7 th  for the past 8 years.

Ever since his Mom had died.

Though today had been especially horrible because he had failed another test (due to an inability to focus even less than usual) and their search for the Desert Wolf was just one big dead end followed by a red herring.

Stiles couldn’t breathe anymore.

So once again he freaked out. Babbled. Ranted. Screamed. Got into his freak out zone with every intention to stay there. No one had gotten through to him – he _let_ no one get through to him!

Except Derek.

Who simply grabbed his arm (stopping him mid-rant _again_ ) and took a suddenly quiet Stiles outside. So he could cool down. Prick!

Only he hadn’t thought that then as he had been too shocked. No one got him out of the zone! No one!

No unless Stiles wanted them to.

“Why? Who? How?” he had babbled over and over.

Derek though, had just looked at him calmly and confidently with his weird murky green eyes. “Your in love with me, Stiles.”

Asshole! Right?

So Stiles got mad. Like really mad! Because it’s not every day that someone tells you you're in love with them.

Pretentious prick!

Also delusional.

And crazy. Definitely crazy, right?

Yeah, no, he was aware how Derek had a point, thanks for pointing that out!

But you don’t tell another person that you know, okay? That'S mean and weird and crazy and actually, Derek was just delusional!

Stiles may have said that part out loud.

He may have said all of this out loud. While Derek stared at him with that resigned look of his. Something he did not care about. Really, running away had been the sensible thing to do! Because dude was crazy! And needed his brain fixed. Had Stiles mentioned delusional yet?

God, Stiles was such an adult!

And that’s when he had gotten abducted, by the way.

Noise. A sigh. His own.

Noise. Outside the room this time. Not his.

What kind of room was he in anyways? It was dark and cold and he sat on a cod.

Didn't really matter, though. It seemed he was finally getting out of there!

Stiles lost consciousness just as the door opened.

***

When he regained it this time he was on a Stretcher with a paramedic leaning over him. There was murmuring all around him. He could hear them. Faintly.

The paramedic was currently touching him. Checking for his pulse. Checking his vital signals. Stiles wasn’t really sure as he wasn’t a EMT. Plus he couldn’t actually feel his arms. Or any other of his limbs. Actually his body in general. Including his mouth!

Well, the only reason Stiles knew he was still part of his body was the terrible headache no one had gotten rid of yet. Shame!

Figures the only thing that should be numb wouldn’t be – but then maybe that was a good thing, because it helped Stiles staying conscious. Gave him something to focus on. So maybe he could say what he had to say. Because he had something he really needed to get out there in case he stopped being part of his body!

Stiles tried opening his mouth, but wasn’t sure he succeeded – he may be feeling drool running down, who knew?

The paramedic put a mask on his mouth. Breathing became easier for a moment.

He still needed to remove it, despite the all too familiar voice in his head telling him not to do it, to stop and stay calm instead. Which, oh. Had he started to panic again? Darn! Stupid mask!

Stiles felt eyes on him. Intense eyes. Murky green came to mind. He felt his stare. Recognized his stare.

Still, he needed to be sure. Turned his head a little. Searched. There! Murky green eyes starring at him – starring straight into his soul.

Haha, straight! That was funny!

They were too far away though. Stiles needed them closer. Needed to see what was written in them.

Except that he couldn’t move. But they, they could, right? Yeah, the eyes needed to move! He needed to get the eyes to move!

New energy flowed through him.

He really needed to talk! Stiles focused on his right arm. Focused on moving it, removing the mask. He needed the mask off!

Surprisingly he succeeded - before another hand appeared and put it back.

He stopped the arm. It was easier with the stare still on him, stronger even then before, more intense - giving him energy, centring him on his goal. So close!

“Derek!” he rasped and wow, was that really his voice? Not pretty!

The hand tried to get away, but Stiles just grabbed it harder. He needed to say that, needed to get that out there! They needed to listen!

The eyes! Where were the eyes?

“Derek,” Again. It was just a whisper. Like a prayer. Stiles wasn’t sure anyone knew what he was saying. He wasn’t sure what he was saying and the words where coming from his mouth! “thinks I’m in love with him. Me! With him! Derek.”

There were more words on the tip of his tongue, more things he needed to say, but it was already to late now - Stiles lost consciousness again. Even the eyes couldn't hold him anymore.

Which was a shame. Had he stayed awake a moment longer he would have seen the whole pack including his Dad and Melissa and Chris as well as three paramedics (and members of Satomi’s pack, because not everyone focused on turning teenagers, nope, some had _standards_!) freeze and turn toward the beta in slow motion – as if all of this was his fault! Like he could have kept the kid form falling for him somehow! Urgh! Typical! Always blame Derek, right? Wasn’t that boring sometimes?

***

Stiles spends the next two days in the hospital. Drifting in and out of consciousness constantly.

His injuries weren't that bad, not even worth mentioning compared to everything else he had sustained since entering the woods to find the second half of Laura Hale's body, but he did lose a lot of blood and was generally dehydrated!

Oh, yeah, and he had a concussion! Which again, wasn't even worth mentioning really, because a) it was just a minor one and b) definitely not Stiles' first one, so yeah!

Anyways, he did spent two days in the hospital and another week at home sulking and avoiding everyone, because well, getting kidnapped was kinda embarrassing, okay? Stiles hated being a damsel in distress and even more how good he seemed to be at being one.

So Stiles stayed away from everyone too lick his wounds and you know, gather strength for the epic search for his balls – which he would start as soon as he stopped pitying himself!

It was the morning of day eight, while he was still lying in bed barely dressed, starring at his alarm like there weren't any more pressing issues then the question of whether he should silence it by dramatically chucking it against the wall or just shutting it off the old fashioned way, when Lydia came storming into his room.

Which, fair enough, they had given him enough time. He knew it was gonna be this way.

Meaning Stiles didn't protest as Lydia ended his alarm with nothing more than a look and a barely there tap of her finger (because having a brain – or any form of intelligence really – wasn't a prerequisite for doing a Banshee's bidding it seemed) before rummaging through his closet, throwing various items of clothing at him while ordering him to shower, she'd wait for him with coffee.

It was as he passed Kira and Malia awkwardly waiting by the door with matching looks of sympathy that Stiles finally realized had he _ever_ had something akin too male pride – it was long gone. And he couldn't actually find it in himself to care.

Really, it was surprisingly uplifting realization, he thought as he followed Lydia and her fellowship through the school (and honestly where did all those people come from? When had Lydia become Queen B of Beacon Hills once again?), not to have to worry about his manly-ness being compromised by discussing such important topics as tangerine and glacier grey or toasted almond and aquamarine for homecoming!

Then again, as another voice in his head pointed out, that could also be because there was nothing wrong with being a guy and having female friends and caring about such things and he wasn't less manly because of it, just like needing to be saved once in a while shouldn't threaten his ego – because things like 'manliness' or 'male ego' and other genderings were actually utter bullshit!

But then again, Stiles tended to ignore this voice, as reason and common sense felt rather miss-placed in a life that involved werewolves and getting kidnapped on the regular.

***

Spending the next few weeks following Lydia around like the true best friend he was, just content to be a normal teenager for a while (because he definitely was not avoiding the supernatural world, nope! They just had peace, jup! All quiet on the western front!) he realized a few more things:

  1. He really missed Allison. (They all did!)

  2. Being a girl (or just friends with one) was exhausting.

  3. Lydia was kinda powerful – like far more powerful than he had ever suspected!

  4. No matter how weird Scott behaved, no matter Malia's backstory, no matter what crazy things Lydia would (and had) pulled, _no one_ was gossiped about the way Stiles was!




Really, it was a good thing he actually had a 'I don't give a shit'-attitude instead of just pretending to, because god, otherwise he'd be a mess!

Now, though, he wasn't.

Nope, really, he wasn't! He was fine. Not avoiding anything – or anyone! Completely oh-kay! Peachy!

Scott said something next to him and Stiles tried to answer him, when it suddenly hit him like a sucker punch to the stomach, actually making him gasp. Out loud. In a crowded hallway. Because people had just stopped talking behind his back about his most recent visit to the ER (the most common theory were drugs, followed by him being a serial killer) and he couldn't have that, right?

Stiles, after all, has just had concerning moment of clarity that made him realize that he was indeed in love with Derek Hale . And profoundly so!

And oh no, not just simply in love, no, love was actually a too weak word to honestly describe the feelings he had for Derek! No, it was more of gut-wrenching, soul-consuming, all-overshadowing feeling making him feel dizzy and weak in the knees!

His hands began to shake as Stiles felt his lips pull back in a snarl. Those other, additional feelings that were starting to well up in him were frankly surprisingly strong, but he was also convinced entirely justified:

See, Stiles was mad.

Angry.

Pissed off.

Whole body vibrating furious.

He ... Well, actually Stiles couldn't think of any other words that could describe his feelings about the development accurately, but essentially he had just realized he was in love with asshole and that made him rather unhappy.

Mildly put.

Then again his feelings for one particular ex-alpha weren't even the worst part of Stiles morning of revelations!

Oh, no, no they are not! Because the worst part?

Stiles is one-hundred, no, one-hundred-thousand seven-hundred-million and eighty-four percent sure that _Derek_ \- Mr. 'My whole family is dead and I have a guilt complex bigger than Russia', Mr. 'I'll threaten your life but will probably never do anything like that because inside I'm a marshmallow', Mr 'I trust everyone because my heart is so big and it'll probably bite me in the ass later but god I just want to trust you', Mr 'I'm starting a gang for lonely people who have no one because I know how they feel' - _Hale_ loves him as well!

Fuck!

Without consciously realizing it he storms out of the school building completely ignoring Scott's attempt to stop him - but then he had been ignoring him for possibly the better part of ten minutes, so one more instance did't really matter anymore!

Or as the germans say: It won't make the cabbage greasy!

***

“Uhm, would you mind putting the book down? For a second?” Derek was still reading, ignoring the pacing Stiles in front of him – a Stiles that had no recollection of how he got to apartment, might I add, as everything since leaving Scott to stand gapping alone in a hallway had been one red tinted blur.

All Stiles remembered was crashing into the loft, telling Derek he loved him in a way that had to be the verbal equivalent of spitting on someone – probably why Derek's face said he was utterly unimpressed.

Then, finally, he looked up at him. With raised eyebrows, though. Darn!

He stayed quiet though.

And Stiles patience wasn't all that good on his best day.

“Also would you mind maybe saying something? Anything? Like, I don't know, ‘I like you as well’? Or even ‘Let’s just be friends, pal!’? Anything at all?” Stiles paused his pacing for a moment to flail and glare in the werewolf’s general direction (as he wasn't able to look directly at him anymore, seeing as he had told him he loved him and still not gotten an answer!).

A sigh was his answer.

A sigh. What did a sigh mean?

Stiles resumed pacing

“I said something. And you ran. Got yourself abducted and avoided me for six weeks – I’m just returning the favour. - And I’d never say ‘pal’.” The last thing was said with more spite than necessary making Stiles once more curious about the former alpha's phobia for endearments – or whatever those words were. Slang probably?

Derek then went back to his book, apparently dismissing him.

He couldn’t fully hide his smirk, though.

God, he was _mean_ ! This was terrible! _He_ was terrible! Stiles had terrible taste! Wow, he was going to take everything back right now! After only like five minutes! Because Derek was that much of an asshole!

“So … what does that mean?” He drawled, filling the silence before it could fully build.

Stiles couldn’t really handle silence. Not since his Mom.

Life was quiet on its own.

And finally that got him a reaction. And what a reaction it was! Derek actually dropped his sacred book and he was in front of Stiles before the boy could blink – and Stiles was a fast blinker!

Also where those sideburns? But less of his glorious eyebrows? Wait, dude, was Derek wolfing out? Because Stiles wanted to know how he felt about _them_?

Now what the fuck did that fucking mean? (And yes, that question deserved multiple f-words!)

“Ever since May – ever since I realized you had a crush on me – I’ve been flirting with you! Hell, I’ve even willingly talked to you about feelings! I know you are young, but you are not that young! Stiles, what do you think that means?”

Well, if one were to put it that way …

He coughed, avoiding the werewolf’s eyes. Stiles felt foolish and awkward and now with all his anger rapidly disbanding, nerves where threatening to take over once more.

Another sigh.

“I’ll finish my book now, okay?” Derek’s voice was soft and understanding. Stiles assumed his face looked something similar.

Stiles nodded curtly. Fine by him. Reading was fine by him! He needed to think anyways. Needed to analyse this, figure out what to do with all this new information.

Needed to get away.

He raised an arm to flail around as he tried - and failed - to form words excusing him.

A chuckle followed him all the way out of the building and straight into his dreams.

***

It took Scott three hours to find him, which considering the lack of hiding spots in Beacon Hills and his friend's werewolf-ness means he had been given time.

Probably Derek's idea. That bastard!

“Nice here!” Scott announced after a few minutes of sitting silently next to Stiles. It's a total lie, though – there is nothing pretty about the power plant. But it was the only place he knew no one would 'accidental' find him and the last place anyone would look. Him being here communicated he wanted space.

Maybe it hadn't been Derek's idea after all!

“I think Braeden's in town.” The alpha mused a while later. Stiles was starting to understand why everyone found his constant need to fill silence so annoying.

“Oh yeah?” Aiming for nonchalance. He missed it by about an american football field – Stiles had never been glad-er for Scott's general density.

“Jup! When I was at the loft earlier he had this 'I'm gonna get laid tonight' – look! Told me where to find you, by the way! What's going on anyways? Derek told me to give you space and all ...” His friend added a thoughtful drawl in his voice. Without having to look over Stiles knew the exact look of worry mixed with interest he'd sport.

So he shrugged instead. “No idea. It's Derek – do we ever know what's going through his brain? Do we even _want_ to?”

“Okay. I just thought maybe you told him what's been going on today – actually, what's been going on lately, because you've been behaving weird for a while now! Ever since you've gotten abducted...” There was hesitance in Scott's voice now and it breaks Stiles heart a little. He knows his friend suffers from the growing rift between them – it used to be just them against the world and now it wasn't anymore. Now there was hardly a them.

Sometimes he's that makes him sad as well.

Throwing an arm over the other boy's – well, man actually – shoulder he draws them together. “I'm fine!” He whispers just a beat to late.

They stay like this for close to an hour.

It's still not enough.

He's not sure anything ever will be.

***

 

When he drops of Scott that night he has every intention of going home as well.

Derek treating Stiles like Stiles had Derek treated, his ass! Derek was scared, that's what he was! Or … or he was trying to win! Yeah, that's what he was doing! Playing him! Trying to get the upper hand, to be the one in control – because obviously Derek Hale couldn't stand not being in control for five minutes!

And that guy was supposed to be an adult!

So Stiles would (no, could!) definitely not be the one to give in.

Except that on the way back from Scott's he apparently turned right instead of left and – for the second time that day – found himself in the loft's parking lot with no prior intention of driving there (and no recollection of doing so, either).

Maybe he _was_ going crazy after all?

Stiles started banging his head against the steering wheel until it hurt. Didn't help his situation, though.

He didn't know how long he actually sat in the Jeep _willing_ his brain to start making sense again (felt like hours, though), when his phone vibrated.

 **Are you coming up or should I just go to bed?** The text read – with punctuation and all.

He groaned. Fuck him! Fuck adults!

Putting the phone back into the pockets of his pants, he grabbed his jacket and left the Jeep.

And if he slammed the door a little bit harder then necessary, well, no one would ever know.

***

The next day Lydia took one look at his face and announced to the world he had gotten laid.

And while replying with how _he_ had been the one to do the laying was neither the wittiest nor most mature answer … it's not like Stiles had gotten a lot of sleep last night! So he should be forgiven!

Plus, the sheer horror on Scotty's face when he realized that _Braeden_ was no longer needed for Derek's 'I'm getting fucked tonight'-face was worth every groan and eye roll!

 

**Author's Note:**

> So that was that!  
> comments are always appreciated  
> Or you know, we could just fangirl together ;):  
> [ here ](http://tracy-the-raven.tumblr.com)  
> (look Mami, I learned how to link :D


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